just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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