I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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