Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
