Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
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