I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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