He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
