id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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