like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
