He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
