She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
