ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
