I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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