Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
