Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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