Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
