the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
