Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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