You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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