I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
