My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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