The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
