Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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