We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
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admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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