4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.