Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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