I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
