now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
