i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
