TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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