That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
