just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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