Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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