Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
