So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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