you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's official drugs can't kill me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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