He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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