Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
