I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
