Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
