wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
