If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
