Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
