I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
