So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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