my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
