I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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