i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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