hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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