Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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