I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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