maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize