you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
