Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
