I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Randomize
