It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's never too late to be topless.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
