we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
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I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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