I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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