We got so high we made milksteak
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My vagina is very pro this idea
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