ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
