Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
barbara walters just said penis...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
