I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
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I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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