we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
