i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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