i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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