ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
