The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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