I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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