I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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